A Spirit of Fear

The Holy Spirit of the Most High God can be a troublesome fellow. Some would like him to pretend to be dead, others invent situations in which he never had any part.

I have to admit, I have tended to intellectualise him too much. I guess I have been scared of what he might do to me, especially if he were to do it in public. A blessing from God through the Spirit might be a wonderful thing to God, but to me in my fearful, timid self-absorbed and sinful little world, it seems more like an occasion for embarrassment accompanied by bouts of uncontrollable scarlet cheeked blushing.
I know, I shouldn’t be ashamed of Jesus or of the Gospel, but I am shy, I am timid and I am human. No excuse, you say, and I hear what you say, yet I still struggle.

But the cheeky fellow has been accosting me of late, urging me to listen to him, to soften my heart to his influence and to break down the walls of self-righteous intellectual justification which I have raised about me to “protect” myself from his movement in my life.
He has opened my eyes to the verse at Galatians 5:22:

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”

He says, “Let me speak to you. I am gentle. I am kind. I am patient, and If you let me guide you, you will have more self-control, not less. You don’t have to fear that I will force you to roll about on the floor babbling, or that I will possess you and make you do things which you would never do of your own volition. That comes from the evil one. I am not about possession, I am about persuasion.”

These words are soothing to me. They give me confidence in him. They let me see the words of this verse with fresh eyes. He wants to partner with me in doing the work of God. He wants to build me up, not to humiliate me. He wants me to experience the joy of fellowship with God and he wants me to share in the knowledge of the living God. He wants to lead me by springs of living water and to make the path before me level. He wants to display the awesome power of God in my life. He wants to love me so desperately and he yearns to be close to me. He delights in me and wants me to know it.

How foolish I have been.

Come Holy Spirit, come!


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